She Speaks!

The Perspective Series: New Eyes...New You!

2012-02-01T09:31:00.008-05:00

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." ~ Marcel Proust

Okay, I'm guilty... it's a natural part of who I am to yearn to see new places! I love exploring new grounds to experience the contrasts in geographical composition and indigenous people, and the variations in weather and culture from place to place. You may or may not take pleasure in the same; however, just imagine for a moment, the phenomenal revelation in being able to look at something you see everyday, or something in your immediate surroundings, in a totally different light!

Take your significant other for example: You look at him as being stubborn and unyielding to compromise and that eats away at you until you explode in anger when you're having a discussion about something you feel he should meet you in the middle on. That may be the case, but have you stopped to also think that he's one of the most generous people you've ever encountered? He'll give you the shirt off his back if you need it, and honor you by standing up for you in any situation (even when you may be wrong). What an awesome ally to have in a mate!

Another example may be the home you live in: You wish it were bigger because your family seems to have outgrown it, and maybe, just maybe it could use a few upgrades. Whenever you pull up in your driveway after work, you cringe at the thought of not being able to afford a bigger home or make the upgrades you imagine daily; however, have you ever stopped to think that your home, although it may be the smallest home in the neighborhood, it houses the most closely-knit family on the block? Under that roof are people who love and respect each other and every Sunday morning you meet at the breakfast table to share a wonderful meal together as a form of worshipping the creator. Although they don't tell you often, they appreciate you, and you them.

Lastly, you may not be able to afford that romantic trip to Paris that you've always wanted to take, but have you ever stopped to wonder about the air of romance in your own backyard? How about a drive to the mountains or to Charleston, SC, where romance and wonder are plentiful...

It's great to see new landscapes, but having New Eyes to see the good in things that are right before you will give you a new perspective in life, overall. At first thought, you may not be happy about a circumstance or situation, but having a new perspective may allow you to see the good in it that wasn't there before.

Today I challenge you to meditate on having new eyes. Take a moment to visualize a circumstance or situation and find the good in it. Find ways to make peace with your inner self through a new vision and outlook on your life.

Love & Light,
SD Denny
Author of novels, The Baker's Dozen and HALF
http://www.sddenny.com/

The Perspective Series: Your Interpretation of the World

2012-01-31T18:28:00.007-05:00

"Be careful how you interpret the world: It is like that." ~ Erich Heller

Your interpretation of the world that "you" live in, and your perception thereof, will make all the difference in your life. The same applies to your circumstances. If you believe that you're doomed, or that your life is unravelling before your eyes, and there's no hope for the future, then that will be the reality that you create for yourself.

The truth of the matter is that YOUR life is what YOU make it. YOU, alone, create and control your reality. Whether you choose to take life one day at a time, facing each challenge with optimism and anticipating positive development, or you decide to live in gloom, disappointment or depression because something didn't work out the way you had planned, the outcome will be just that. It's your choice!

The world and everything in it will be to you just as you interpret it. Choose wisely as it will have a major impact on your life, your peace of mind, and your well-being.

Today, I challenge you to pay special attention to the way that you interpret the world, your surroundings, and your circumstances. Meditate and seek ways to shape your interpretation of life so that you have a more positive outlook.

Love and Light,
SD Denny
Author of novels, The Baker's Dozen and HALF
www.sddenny.com

Celebrating Single Black Women!

2010-12-15T11:10:00.009-05:00

The Award for “Most Nauseating Topic of 2010” goes to:
Male Talk Show Hosts for Why Are So Many Black Women Single?

Tell me, is this rose any less beautiful because it is a single, red rose?

It never ceases to amaze me how and why so many men, namely African-American men, especially talk and radio show hosts, claim to have all the answers to what they THINK is the #1 problem plaguing black women in America today – BEING SINGLE! I’ll give it to them, not all of them claim to have the answer to what they call “the problem”, but, if they don’t have the answer, they certainly seem to have placed it at the top of their list of problems that they deem worthy of repetitive discussions. But for the record, I have to give it up to Steve Harvey... at least he has taken the time to put in writing what he feels will help women of all statuses to maneuver through relationship drama, rather than put them down for being single or make it appear to be as bad as having a disease!

Newsflash… the state of being single for a black woman is NOT A BAD THING!

I am a 45-year-old single woman and mother of two, who has never been married. That may seem unorthodox to some, but my life is what it is and I’ve managed to take what some consider a hopeless situation and turn it around for the better. I don’t hold a degree, but I do have some college courses under my belt. I have worked in healthcare for many years in positions ranging from Customer Service Representative to Business Analyst and I’m the award-nominated, published author of two books, with the third being released in May 2011. Let me also say that I'm also in the process of starting a business, which I plan to be fully operational by summer of 2011. Not bad for a Single Woman, huh?

I’m not saying I don’t need a man, nor am I what some call the male-bashing, so-called independent, strong woman type who feels she has acquired so much strength that she can do it all by herself; however, on the other hand, the life that I’ve lived has required me to be strong at times when women are typically thought of as being weak, when I could have easily fallen apart and lost everything I had, including my mind, and all in the absence of a man to help me to hold things together.

For those of you who think that being single is at the top of the list of a black woman’s woes, let me break down the list of benefits there are to being a single black woman:
· A single black woman has more of the time and the freedom often required to adequately take advantage of opportunities for advancement and personal growth in areas such as education and pursuing one’s dreams.
· A single black woman is more in the position to maneuver within the purpose for her life when it involves community and civil outreach because she has fewer restrictions on her time and availability.
· A single black woman has more of the time and mental capacity needed to work on getting to know who she is and who she is meant to be, whereby being able to make better decisions about her life and better choices with whom she will allow to take up space in her life or become partners with in life.

So, you see, it is NOT a bad thing to be a single, black woman! In fact, women should consider themselves privileged to be at such an advantage. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had married women tell me they wish they had one or more of the advantages I’ve listed above, and how many have admitted to wishing they had waited or worked on themselves and their dreams before committing to marriage. It takes time to learn that two half-people do NOT make a whole person, and that the greatest love of all is the love you have for God and for yourself.

There’s a Bible verse, Proverbs 18:22 that says: Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing. So, why have things turned around so in society that single, black women are now led to believe that the number of available, good men is so few that we have to battle it out with other women to land a man, as if the man is the prize? Not so! I refuse to believe that I have to change my values because of this new “black woman you’d better get yourself a man by any means possible” mentality! I’m still a gift and a treasure to behold and I still believe that whoever finds me, finds a good thing!

I’m NOT saying that married black women should now leave their husbands. Please do NOT put words in my mouth. But what I AM saying is that single, black women should embrace being single! You are blessed to be in the position to become a better YOU! Take pride in your singleness and stop letting people tell you that being single is a problem or downfall. I’ll never forget the scene in the movie The Color Purple when Celie finally decides to leave her abusive husband, Albert, and he follows her outside saying “Who you think you is? You can’t curse nobody. Look at you. You’re black, you're poor, you're ugly, you're a woman, you're nothing at all!” He used all the words he could think of in his sick mind to make her think she would never succeed.

Single, black women please take advantage of this time and opportunity to walk in your purpose, pursue your dreams and love the beautiful woman that God has made in you! There’s nothing wrong with you. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting a mate, but until God has blessed you with the right person for you, know that it’s okay to be single in the meantime! And never settle just because society thinks it’s better to have a man than to have no man at all.

SD Denny

Author of The Baker’s Dozen and the upcoming novel, HALF

Available on amazon.com and other fine book retailers

www.sddenny.com

Her Value (In the Raw)

2010-11-29T23:08:00.003-05:00

She doesn't value herself, she has no self-esteem

Never has, never will, or so it would seem

Lost somewhere on the battlefield in a meadow of dreams

As she crawled through the conflicts of life by all means

She doesn't value herself, because in spite of the truth

No one's ever been there to show her the proof

So she searched for that proof through the words of a man

From insecure souls without nurturing hands

From cold hearted rolling stones to the ill intended

From those who held back to those who rescinded

Looking for security because in this cold world it's a must

From sun up to sun down and from dawn till dusk

But those things never came

Now she's ashamed

How could this tragedy have come to be

To such a diamond fashioned so perfectly

With tears in her eyes that flowed so naturally

She uttered the following words to me

How is it that I could possibly be

Any value to anyone, or even to me

When my own Daddy didn't even think enough of me

To protect, or provide or to sacrifice for me

He was not there when I lost my first tooth

When I cried at my first heartbreak as a youth

When I had my first date or when I went to the prom

Or the trip to that clinic that they later bombed

I grabbed the pills from the palm of her hand

And lifted her gently from the saline sand

Brushed off her hair and fixed her clothes

And took upon myself the burden of her woes

My sister, I said, take a walk with me

Let me tell you about who I used to be

I didn't value myself, I had nothing to lose

I've held a pill bottle, I've been battered and bruised

I've searched for security, ended up a single mom

And I lived down the road from that clinic they bombed

But after years of searching for someone who valued me

Through trials and tribulations I discovered it was He

The He that breathed the very life into you

Designed you for a purpose which only He knew

Until He revealed to me this one little clue

That what He's given me, I must now pass to you

So, to my sister who does not value herself

Give your burdens to Him, sit them right on His shelf

He's the light of the world, which shines down from above

In Christ Jesus He gave us his sacrificial love

He values you more than you'll ever know

And more than any man could ever show

And now, my sister, what I've given to you

You must pass to another so she knows she's valued too

YOU HAVE A PURPOSE

~SD Denny

Author of The Baker's Dozen and the upcoming novel, HALF

Interracial Relationships - Is Everything Black or White?

2010-10-11T11:42:00.004-04:00

If you’ve visited my blog before, you know by now that I usually start off by relating lyrics to a song with what I’m feeling. In this particular blog, I’m feeling the song Black or White by Michael Jackson, and I’ve chosen this particular part of the song as my focus:

See, It's Not About Races, Just Places, Faces

Where Your Blood Comes From

Is Where Your Space Is

I've Seen The Bright Get Duller

I'm Not Gonna Spend My Life Being A Color

As the product of an interracial marriage, one would think that I’d have a lot of insight on the fiber of interracial relationships. Not true. My parents separated when I was very young, so I never had the opportunity to see much of an interracial relationship from the inside that my memory can recall. And even though I dated a young Italian man when I was twenty years old, it was too brief and I was too young and immature to really have much information to share about what it was really like for me to date outside my race. Hmmm…perhaps I should say outside the race I’d grown more accustomed to identifying with.

Let me start by saying that I’m not against interracial relationships or marriages. I believe that love is the ultimate common bond and that if love can bring people together, in spite of them being from different cultures and/or ethnic groups, then that is a beautiful thing! I have; however, had moments when I’ve cringed at the sight of seeing successful black men with white women. Yes, I’ve actually gotten in my feelings about it. For the most part, it was because I felt, as stereotypical as it may sound, that some successful black men have adopted the attitude that since they’d “arrived”, suddenly a black woman wasn’t good enough for them. All the while, I’d shake my head and think to myself, “She probably wouldn’t look twice at your black ass if you were broke!” Yes, I’ve said and thought those things. Although I still feel that some successful black men have that attitude, I no longer harbor ill feelings about it. And before I get too much slack, let me say that I don’t believe this is the case with all interracial relationships between black men and white women. I’m not even saying it’s the case with most. I’ve seen numerous magazine articles, talk shows, etc. where black men share their feelings about black women and why they’ve become more open to or prefer dating white women. I’ve heard it all – from black women having bad attitudes, to black women not being submissive enough, and a lot more in between. My question though, is “What is it that draws white women to black men?” Do they have complaints about white men that have caused them to want to date or marry outside their race, or was it just happenstance that they’ve ended up in an interracial relationship? I’d love to get some comments on that…

Suppose I were asked the question: Sharon, would you consider dating or marrying a man of another race? My answer would be yes, I would! I actually think that black women in general should be more open to doing the same. Perhaps we’re limiting our chances at happiness or at marriage by limiting who we will allow ourselves to date. My opinion has nothing at all to do with money, or appearances, status quo, etc. In a life partner, I dream of one who’s trustworthy, peaceful, spiritual, nurturing, sheltering, accepting of all that I am, and supportive of my dreams and aspirations. (A love for travel and a good handyman would be a plus). Okay, this is starting to sound too much like a personal add, but you get the picture. The bottom line is if a man comes along whom I feel good about, the fact that his skin is a different color from mine will not prevent me from the possibility of us moving forward into a loving relationship. Interracial relationships are fine in my book. Actually, I look forward to a time in my lifetime where people aren’t as concerned with what society thinks with regard to who they love.

Now, I’d like to ask a question of you: By being against interracial relationships, does that equate to having a mindset that one’s race is more or less significant than another’s? And does it equate to being prejudiced? Just think about it…

In spring of 2011, my sophomore novel, HALF, will be released by Peace in the Storm Publishing. Please keep that in mind, as you will NOT want to miss this poignant tale of a young, biracial woman on a quest to find her identity in a world where everything seems to be either black or white.

SD Denny, Author

2009 African-American Literary Award Nominee

http://www.sddenny.com/

http://www.peaceinthestormpublishing.com/

Burnt Biscuits

2010-01-20T13:33:00.004-05:00

Every now and then, you hear a story that has a meaning that is so profound it grabs hold of you and doesn't let go until you pass it on to someone else. Today, I am compelled to share this gift with you:

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

You know, life is full of imperfect things... and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own."

God Bless You... Now, and Always.

SD Denny, Author

2009 African American Literary Award Nominee

www.sddenny.com

Denying My Blackness?

2009-12-03T00:08:00.003-05:00

Since the recent Tiger Woods media frenzy began, I've seen a great deal of comments regarding Tiger "denying his blackness" or "denying his black heritage." It seems that because he refers to himself as "Cablinasian" some people feel that he is denying the part of him that is black.

This is something that I've thought deeply about for many years, especially because I happen to be biracial. When I had to choose between black and white on applications in past years, I'd always chosen black. After all, I'd grown up in a household with a black mother and because anyone could look at me and tell that I wasn't white! But since the "other" or "multiracial" options have become available, I have chosen to select one of those instead. And it's not because I'm denying my black heritage, but simply because I have more than one parent, and the other just happens to be white.

I embrace both sides of my heritage, black and white. And I'm sorry if I offend anyone when I say that I'm biracial, but I don't feel that I should have to choose one or the other simply because there's someone out there who feels that if I don't classify myself as being black, then I'm not being proud of my black heritage.

Give Tiger a break...and trust that when he looks in the mirror, he is very much aware that he is looking at a man with strong black heritage.

Your thoughts?

Relation “Shifts”

2009-09-07T21:17:00.003-04:00

Have you ever heard that saying, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?”
That is the truth! For many of us, the most important things in our lives are the relationships we have with others, whether they’re family, friends, lovers, or life partners. As I’ve matured to the ripe age of 44 that I am, I can truly say that my outlook on relation “shifts” has taken on a new meaning. People come and go. I’ve seen it explained before, but this evening I’ve taken the time to break it down in my own terms.
Reason: Have you ever been at a place in your life when you were so distraught, perhaps over the loss of another relationship or something else that was significant in your life and you didn’t know how you were going to make it through? Then you think, “Wow, if it wasn’t for this person, or that person, I don’t know how I would’ve made it.” I believe God brings people in and out of our lives to help us through tough times, or perhaps to teach us a lesson, or even take us through certain experiences to make us stronger, or make us examples for others who may need an example.
Season: Do you feel you are a different person than you were 10, 20, or even 30 years ago? I believe we go through seasons in our lives. I am constantly evolving and I know that I couldn’t interact the same with someone 20 years ago that I could today. You may have friends or life partners that were in your life when you were in a particular season, but today that relationship just doesn’t have the same meaning. It’s natural for people to grow, and sometimes that means your life takes a different direction. That’s okay! You thank God for the season and the growth and you continue to grow. If God has called you for a purpose, it may be time to let go and move on. It doesn’t have to be a BAD thing and it doesn’t mean that you have to stop loving someone. Sometimes, letting go may be best for the other person, just as much as it may be for you.
Lifetime: There are some people that will always be a part of your life. No matter what. You usually know who they are. They may be people we communicate with all the time or we may rarely talk to them…but there’s just this unspoken promise that for as long as you are alive, you’re in their life and they’re in yours.
I think it helps the healing process by being able to determine why certain people came into our lives or left our lives. It can also help in the decision making process as to whether or not it’s time to let go of a relationship that may have you in a stagnated state. Either way, we live, we love, and we learn. And we live some more.
Do you know who’s who in your life? Can you move past a painful experience by being able to identify the meaning of that relationship in your life?

Your thoughts?

Depression

2009-04-26T21:51:00.002-04:00

On Friday May 1^st my debut novel, The Baker’s Dozen, is being released to the public! Am I excited? Absolutely! Who wouldn’t be? And treading on its heels, May 3 - May 9, is yet another momentous time - National Anxiety and Depression Awareness Week. You’ll find that The Baker’s Dozen touches on the subject of depression and mental illness within the family as it narrates the story of a young woman’s struggle from within to allow herself the freedom to love. With the two being very significant to me, I thought it was the perfect time to write this blog.

With a struggling economy and so many companies shedding jobs, more and more people are facing situations that could easily drive them over the edge of sanity. Depression has claimed many victims and embedded its ugly claws in the lives of people you would never think possible.

For instance, no one could ever have convinced me that I would experience depression. A few years ago I endured several major changes in my life, all at one time, that caused me to fall into a deep emotional slump. After weeks of being in denial, I finally convinced myself to take advantage of the employee assistance program at work. It wasn’t an overnight process, but I had to take the first step toward healing. The help that I received, coupled with my spiritual growth, enabled me to climb out of the pit I’d subconsciously fallen into.

That first step was the hardest. As a single woman and head of my household, I had developed the attitude of a leader. I had to be strong for my family, and admitting that I was dealing with depression was the same as admitting that I was weak and could be penetrated. Not to mention I was embarrassed. Those are some reasons why depression goes untreated. So many are ashamed to admit that they’re suffering, so they suffer in silence, thinking it will go away when sometimes it only gets worse.

Here are some facts you should know about depression:

· It causes you to feel sad and hopeless much of the time.

· Anyone can have depression. It often, but not always, runs in families.

· It can be caused by major events that cause stress, illnesses, medications, and drug/alcohol use.

· It can be treated with counseling or antidepressant medicine, or both.

Here are some facts that I found to be really interesting:

· 54% of people think depression is a personal weakness.

· 41% of depressed women are too embarrassed to seek help.

· 80% of depressed people are not currently getting treatment.

· 92% of depressed African-American males do not seek treatment.

· 15% of depressed people will commit suicide.

· Depression will be the second largest killer after heart disease by 2020 - and studies show depression is a contributory factor to fatal coronary disease.

If you or someone you know needs help, there are many resources available. Also, in observance of National Anxiety and Depression Awareness Week, I challenge you to broaden your knowledge of depression. Here’s one website I found to be particularly helpful: www.freedomfromfear.org

If you are led to make a contribution to this cause, visit www.mindovermatter2day.com, a not-for-profit organization that uses the donations they receive to help people get the assistance they need.

Please join me as I celebrate the release of my debut novel on Friday May 1^st.

To order your copy of The Baker’s Dozen, visit www.peaceinthestormpublishing.com

The Loveless Bed

2008-11-09T17:18:00.006-05:00

You'll find that I refer to songs in a great deal of my blogs because I pay special attention to lyrics and sometimes find myself comparing them to events in my life or feelings that I may have. These last few days I've been pondering the lyrics to "Epiphany", a piece of spoken word that Jill Scott performs to a very erotic musical beat on her CD, Words and Sounds: Volume 3.
In this piece, Jill vividly describes what appears to be the perfect sexual encounter with someone whose sole purpose is to give her pleasure. She goes on to describe how she takes over and "puts it on him" to the point where he has spasms in his feet (wow), but suddenly the beat stops and she says "But why do I feel so empty?" This was an epiphanic moment.

A few years ago when I found myself at the end of a long-term relationship, I was suddenly faced with a choice. Do I abstain or not? Sounds easier than it really is for a thirty-something year-old sensual woman, right!

Well, here I am today at forty-three and single. I'm still a sensual woman, but I've learned many valuable lessons over the years. One being the drastic change in how people view relationships today. It seems that people have become much more tolerant to sex in the absence of relationships and love. Everywhere you turn, you hear the term "friend with benefits" or "cut buddy" and quite frankly, I've become afraid that this relationship style will become the popular way to relate for our future generations.

In digging deeper into the "friend with benefits" style of relationships, I've become curious about the reason that both male and female engage in such relationships. Does the female have an issue with low self-esteem and settles for sex because she thinks she isn't worthy or can't imagine anyone truly loving her? Is the male exploiting his female partner or taking advantage of her lack of self-esteem? Does he not have the capability to truly love a woman or is there some deep-rooted unresolved issue that causes him to prefer to keep it on a physical level? (Note that these are merely questions and not judgements being placed on anyone.)

Is there something wrong with this, or is the "friend with benefits" concept perfectly normal and acceptable for consenting adults?

What do you think?

She Speaks! I listen...

Loving Someone Flaws and All

2008-11-02T17:47:00.003-05:00

As I sat having breakfast and some really great girl-talk with a friend this morning, the topic of flaws came up. My friend pointed out to me that I may need to overlook certain flaws in men if I ever plan to have a companion. I realized that she might be right and wondered if that might have something to do with me still being single at forty-three. Nahhh, couldn't be.

Ever heard Beyonce's song Flaws and All? She's talking about all the things about herself that could be seen as flaws in someones eyes, yet they are overlooked by the one who truly loves her.

The chorus goes: I don't know why you love me. And that's why I love you. You catch me when I fall. Accept me flaws and all. And that's why I love you.

I grew up in the fast life of Brooklyn, NY around fast-talking guys with big-city mentalities. My mother referred to them as "City Slickers", but they were all I knew. When I moved to North Carolina in my early twenties, it took some time adapting to the differences I noticed in most men. The fast-talk had dwindled down to a much slower pace and gone was the street hustler that could take you out all the time and give you almost anything you asked for. I looked at these differences as flaws and overlooked some wonderful southern men as a result. There was one in particular who stands out. I saw him as being too "country" for my taste and belittled his love for me. When I look back, this was by far the one who loved me the way that I would want to be loved today.

That was long ago, and things have changed. I've learned a huge lesson on diversity and that differences are not flaws. I've learned that although I'm from a big city, I'm a country girl at heart and I love the character of a southern gentleman who can hang a ceiling fan, change the oil in my car, take me out for a good 'ole fish dinner and show me he's the king of the jungle where it counts!

I've grown a great deal, and although I don't like to dwell on what would've been, I still can't help but wonder what opportunities for love or friendship I've let pass me by because I couldn't get past what I considered were flaws.

How many friendships or relationships have you let pass you by because of someones flaws?

She Speaks! I listen...

Domestic Violence and Abuse Sucks!

2008-10-26T16:35:00.006-04:00

As you may know, October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and I thought it would be fitting to dedicate my first weekly posting of “She Speaks!” to this cause.
First, let me say that my heart goes out to Jennifer Hudson as she mourns the loss of her mother and brother who were murdered in her mother’s South Chicago home on Friday. I saw in one news story that this may be the result of a domestic dispute. Unfortunately, too many domestic disputes end in the tragic deaths of innocent victims.
In my own life, I’ve also experienced domestic violence from different perspectives. When I was seventeen, I met a handsome young man who I eventually discovered turned violent when he became jealous. After getting hit in the head on more than one occasion, I walked away from the situation and refused to see him ever again. I never imagined that I’d be confronted with this kind of violence again, but in my twenties I became involved with yet another man who would use violence to try to control my life. This time, it wasn’t as easy to walk away from the situation because I’d had a child with him. For years, I lived in fear of being hurt or even killed. I thank God that He protected me from harm and showed me what real love is. On the other hand, not everyone is able to escape this sickness as easily. I continue to pray for a family member who has been the victim of domestic violence for over 15 years now. It’s as though she doesn’t think she deserves anything better; like this is what her life should be like. What about her innocent children? Should they be made to suffer as well?
Domestic violence doesn’t just affect the victim. It reaches far and wide and there are indirect victims who suffer as well. For instance, the children of the victim suffer as they watch their parent or guardian abused and demeaned at the hands of their perpetrator. And there are family members who are helpless as they watch their child, sister, or brother constantly in danger, not knowing when or if the phone will ring or if a knock will come at the door bringing bad news.
Domestic violence is more common than some of us may be aware. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives, according to a 1998 Commonwealth Fund survey.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence and would like to get help, here are a couple of resources where you can start:
http://www.endabuse.org/
http://www.ncadv.org/ or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Have you or someone you know ever been the victim of domestic violence?
What affect did it have on your life or the life of your family and/or friends?
How did you become free from the situation?

“She speaks!” I listen…